Billy Bob & the Folding Chairs

Billy Bob’s Open Door Church and the Sermonette’s of Praise Poem

      Rustlers “Sheepherder” Rhapsody     
 Sheepherders: “Oh, No, Rex, We don’t get involved in these wars, We are the peaceful, We say, ‘Let those who start the wars, fight the wars’, this our motto.”
Rex: “Well, I suppose I’ll have to fight them all myself.”
Sidekick Peter: “O’ No, you won’t, I’m gonna fight them with you!”
Rex: “No Peter, you won’t, you can’t, I know what happens.”
SK Peter: “Hang what happens Rex, I’m going with you!”
 Sheepherders: “Let him go, he’s a young man, Let him go!!”
 Ms : “Let him go, Rex, He wants it, you know what I mean, he wants to Rex!”
 Unison: “Let him go, Let him go!!”  

                         o
     Bumper Brother Boys Bazaar 
TV had became repulsive 
It was a long time ‘no show’
But then came the bedding sale
And it was a Happy Happy Go&Go
Bumper Brother Boys Bedding Bazaar                Sale
it was to be a ‘No Fail’
Television turned a corner, it had
Excitement filled the air, she cried.
Bumper Brother Boys was the fad
Out to her car, but then her car died 
A thumb went up and out, she shout
Take me, take me down to the buy 
           me here!
Sure enough a car pulled up the slow
Opened his door, she got in no fear
Now, she was his, he took her to his 
           bungalow 
Chained her to the wall, and then 
           politely said he
“Sing me, that thar fish song or I 
           won’t let ye go
She sang for the next four hours 
           that’s how long it be
Her words high and low, the fishy 
          song you know 
Take me down to the water, Take me down to the river 
Let me swim upstream- let me quiver
She sang his song, but the words 
          weren’t right
But he didn’t care, and it was gaining 
          dark to night 
He then, and then he, let her to go
Back to the Bumper Brother Boys 
   Bedding Bazaar Sale show
Too late, too late, doors they close 
To home, TV, hold her nose
TV had became repulsive evenflow
It was a long long time ‘no show’
But then there was the fish, she had 
            became a star
No Bumper Brother Boys Bedding 
           Bazaar and that died car
But for awhile, she walked.. uhh 
          chained the carpet red
He, to jail, and the hum on his                         tongue -
    ‘Takes me to the water
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   Billy Bob’s Open Door Church 
       ~The Saga of For Sure~
Days of yonder past: Now I’m a’supposin’, nothing what occurred this day, will matter a one whit, when in heaven we be come.” B. Bob’79
             Open Door Church
Things sure were a’hummin’ and people were in moving
down to the local ‘take me there’ on time church, they door open wide
Sway was a’swayin’, and the music leader said, Things are a’groovin’
Drummer was a drumming -getchy-catchy beat, sway me side to side

Pastor was a’swoonin’ guitar player a tuning, dancers were slide-de-slide
People were falling, building was a shaking, kitchen cooker being fine-
Doubts were decreasing, fears were abating, Positive was in for a ride
Noses were a’running, choir was a singing three quarter ‘keep it up’ time

Door was a’burstin’ People were a flowing, altar was a’fillin’ up wide
Come to Meeting was occurring, and the restrooms were lit up in O’Occupied 
The room was a’glowin’ black light luminatin’-back lights flashing bright
Feet were a’movin’ people having time of their life, spirit was a’bein’ right 

Front door flew floor open wide, one dressed in red- jiggled him into inside
A’suave a’swayin’ moving his front turned up feet- with a snout betide
Long pointed ears a’scratchin’  
-reaching up a’hearin’ wide
With a smell that would toast you, to make you want to run away hide

Speaking with a gruntled, muffle-up bone crunching, a chewer’s stride
Silence bent the tone- fear gripped the bone- to fear was Left inside
“I’m here! and I’m hungry!” as the night obeisance -I need- let’s make it right 
Doors slammed a locked crowd saw the clock, it was the midnight fright 

Yep, crowd was a’rockin’ at pastor Billy Bob’s crowd a’pleasin’ church- “The Open Door” 
People were happy in know, dressed up-going to go, the night of all nights for sure
Music was a’flowin’ contented in knowin’ others they were showin’ 
Open Door was- on fire- modernized, the rooster, she wasn’t crowing dressy-up fragranisized.

“Alas, and Billy Bob wasn’t privy know- this -his finality- his a’wavin’ to bye the goodbye...
This was all the- that was Left of him, and Left for them, this- his final finality Epitaph”
                           OoOoO
Like to know more about the minister you have come to know, and your appreciation of the gospel presented bold? The door is indeed in open wide, just cross that cement mixed indo floor and gather into at Humidor, The Spending Store, “Come on in buy a little less for a whole lot more”. Take a little hike, peddle push that stand up bike, gain a little walking sure, open to inside, The Spittin’ Lama Bookstore. Today’s feature, Cross a ThreshingholdBilly Bobs Open Door Church, a threefiddy enterprise!!
           You can order...
Billy Bob’s Older Sermons:

I apologize to your nieces; I didn’t say hit your niece, I said, You might want to hit your knees!
Billy Bob’s favorite quote wrote:
Love doesn’t keep records on having been done wrong!” Yes, it does!. .. declared Billy Bob .... “You can forgive what you can’t forget, you can’t forget what you won’t forgive!” God forgives!!!
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      The Spittin' Lama Bookstore                
                      Case of the      
               Candy Apple Red
Arrived at the zoo, there I saw it too
Sitting in a chair, all bucked back with no care
Right leg up over knee on knee, sure he be
Book open to my surprise, 'Candied Apple-Delight- Two The Eyes'
Setting in all his drama, sat the elusive - 'Spittin' Lama'
 
Tweaked his ears, rolled his eye, and let it fly
"I am the Spittin' Lama, I'll spit on me, I'll spit on you, for you leavin' I'll spit your guest too
"Come closer" he did plea, then he uncrossed the other knee
"I be that I be, you, not me, I be that, I be!
 
Dance if I want, cry if I needed to, I be the 'Spittin' Lama' that is what I do
I spit hard, I spit far, I'll spit you, I'll spit your frilly car!"
Red Candied Apple is my delight eat I will with or without light
Came I came from the plain, Up through Australia where I gets my name
Came I here to America from points to Tennessee, Candied Apples Need I for me
 
My pappy was a rover one not as tall no Candied Apples, made him so small
Pappy earned for the day that land and rivers would not block the way
He pushed us forth to a land, of great bounty to where we could play
Glad your here that's for sure, I be the Spittin' Lama welcome to my bookstore
 
"Mr. Lama someone has deceived and lied to you, this my friend is a zoo"
How dare you to misrepresent that to where I be scent
Be gone with you now you are a distraction, a really fat cow
I am not the cow I be a man, the sound echoed 'Pteew' spit in my hand
 
I must have flew, as fast as I ran- he was the Spittin' Lama and opened up a fan
Spittin' here Spittin' there down my shoes and in my hair
He spit so far he spit all over my car, his aim was great my feet a little late
All that remained was a 'fore' and down rained the spit more
"Stay thee from me he yell out, and far from my-
       'Spittin' Lama Bookstore'
 
   "Case of the CandApplRed"                                   shep®1o312o18o222PM 
"Mr. Lama someone has deceived and lied to you, this my friend is a zoo"

                                       oOo
Psystune: Now with NaNo Technology! Na ... N0 ... Teck0logy 
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                Humidor 
Humidor ~ It’s not just a visit, or a hang place of yocals -
It is like the fresh scent of an old cigar, with the dripping sweet myrrh smell, an oasis, parked in the midst of lush green, on sandy island sure- known locals.
Places, the thoughts of the mind, with the scent of love, that never you tell ~
Humidor- What others are seeking to find- Virtual fountain of youth exploreHumidor- an odd exquisite, onceonly to the wealthyfor the hunt ensue, HumidorWhen you unravel
the hard to findit breezes pastbecomes you -
Humidoryou can’t let it go -or be wrapped in time -seek till you find
HumidorNow on shelves galore next to your local Spending Store -
Humidor When you need to come
back for more
 ~ Humidor 
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       ~ The Spending Store ~
Spend, spend, and desire ~ do it again!!. 
It is not your granny’s bargain basement prices, but once you visit our BaseMint
What bargains will you find!. 
Perhaps, you have seen one of our productsThe exclusive ‘Humidor’ you no -You can’t wait
We have fish on the wall, We caught 10 feet tall, We have a Yeti, not yet- there it is, Yeti, No, not spaghetti for me, We got spaghetti, but the Yet will take the triple dose, ‘Why take two when -three is more, and Yes, we have Humidor
Everything we declare, we declare hear, can be finding there, want more(?) it’s found in The Spending Store! 
One visit and you will say, “Hello, Is this The Spending Store, You betcha, come on down the stairs, Got lost - Don’t worry we’ll find you, there is nothing you can’t find, even if  Nothing is what you had in mind. Count them up, 1,2,3 - What took so long, surely you- reason, where else could you find, in or out of season, It’s a really good store, leave that fret on the guitar, Yes, we still have Humidor!
What is Humidor?” Why, it’s a lot closer than you think, come on down to The Spending Store, we even have ‘chippy’ rocks, in our parking docks, that are unique, and more, but why take our words, you can have your own, Don’t have any, that’s ok, we have many sure, we’ll part a few, and you can buy some there also, don’cha know. Here is a local, and he is big time vocal- on the ‘TSS’ -
 “Tell them about our store, Carl!”
It’s -a really good store!!!.”
Thank you, Carl!
See folks, don’t believe us, Then come on down and see some more, it is hard to believe, what you can’t see.
What! You want it all now, and a whole lot more? You don’t need less, that’s a sure
?
Then come on down to the Spending Store, we have less -and a whole ‘lot’ more, bring your own self, and a friend, or two, they will fall in love with it, and so to you. You want less, a closing space, then come on down, we have less a whole lot more, that’s right, it is The Spending Store, more for me, when less is more
Don’t forget Psystune Now with nano technology, located, -of course, and by the Spending door.
Manny LyntstromNJ: “We love the Spending Store, we gets a lot less, a whole lot more! I am so glad they now have Humidor.
Psystune, Now with ‘Nozama’ the incredible nano droplets system technology.
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          RoosteICrowing
     Dixie OMFront Porch
I was traveling down the road to Dixie -Dixie is on my front porch 
Up from the yard became a dark, the dark the Sun had scorched 
All night long the hammer sung, and the match was striking hot
Seems a different  somehow, as the criminals are seething in their pot

Men and women are singing “What on earth does I care”
The streets are peeled with shopping ‘Open House‘ every there
Whiskey laden baskets, at least as much- as one can fairly bare
Ball bats not swinging, football has laden it’s down, none to time share

Corona stood her ground Hercules would have done her proud
Mouthing big, Big Mouther’s getting right to the pitch very loud
When the mobs grow large, a scattering is laid on it’s way
Somewhere bound in Dixie “Shot herd around the World“ took its pay

Me, I was sitting on the front porch watching people on tv scurry away
I was thinking of the old man Spittin’ tobacco he dotted every eye they say
Back in the yard-a dog is barking, a bank needs a cutting, an a’trimmin’
The Sun is coming up, the dark is a’fadin’ to a grass that’s swimming 

Over in the EU, a man is coming through- rising up to another’s feet 
The police are in disarray, and the Governor is bumming by his seat
There is a waylaid in brewing, people stewing, two fingers in the air, up
He has whiskey for a few, until the matter is filled it’s due- a paper cup

I was traveling down the road to Dixie -Dixie is on my front porch 
Up from the yard became a dark, the dark the Sun had scorched 
All night long the hammer sung, and the match was striking hot
Seems different now, as criminals are scorching on their spot

But, as for me, I was traveling down the road to Dixie -Dixie is on my front porch, tea is a’brewing, suppers on the stove making hot, my dad is a’winkin’ stars are a’blinkin’, Mom has filled up every bowl, wife is a’noddin’, children are playing gotten, and the dog is howling “How do you do”- I was traveling down the road to Dixie -and Dixie is on my front porch!!
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